I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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