Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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