I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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