Michael Bay diarrhea
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
