i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
