hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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