Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize