At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
