We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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