I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i drank out of a bidet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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