Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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