Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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