I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
