everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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