You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
