just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
