i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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