Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
