but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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