Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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