I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
