we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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