im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
