I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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