last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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