Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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