omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this just has baby written all over it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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