Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
