Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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