wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
dude. I can hear the air.
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