the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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