Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
