North Korea, Best Korea!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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