tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
