I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm at about main and main street
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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