i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
