They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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