So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
