He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
