I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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