like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
