Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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