I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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