If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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