I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
