everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
