I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
