we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
