Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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