I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We smell like vodka and hangover
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