He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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