Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
