You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He better not be in your backpack
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
