Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize