i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
