just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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