just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what day is it and did you see me today?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
