I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He felt like a one man threesome
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
